High Strangeness Bermuda Triangle Calendar! | Very Limited!
[seriously, stop thinking of shaking the box already.]
The ocean remembers things. That’s the problem.
Men charted it, named it, crossed it in steel hulls and prop planes and nuclear submarines, but the Atlantic never agreed to any of this. Especially in regard to the section between Florida, Bermuda, and Puerto Rico where instruments begin behaving like skittery, frightened animals and time itself develops soft spots. The Bermuda Triangle. A ridiculous name, really. Sounds almost harmless. Geometric. Academic. Something sketched by a man in a pith hat sitting in his secret scent lab. Maybe even a tropical instrument for the talentless, no? It just sounds laughable. In short, a clever/dumb band name for a power trio working on a cruise ship.
But people vanished there. Just gone.
A tanker carrying molten sulfur. An entire flight of Navy bombers. Radio operators in calm weather suddenly talking as if they were fever dreaming. Compass needles wandering in slow circles as if drunk. Lights beneath the water moving against the current. Objects dropping from impossible angles out of the sky long before mankind had the machinery to explain them away.
And then came television. That was when it really infected our imagination. (and surely the reason this advent calendar exists)
The seventies & eighties. The golden ages of carpeted paranoia. Wood paneling. Cigarette smoke hovering in living rooms while Leonard Nimoy quietly informed America that reality was much thinner than previously advertised. Or Arthur C. Clarke staring directly into your soul at eleven-thirty at night while your parents slept in the next room. Or maybe you viewed these shows and TV Specials past your bedtime, hiding at the top of the stairs while your older siblings or parents watched it! You sat perched there, quiet as a mouse, taking it all in: adult stuff. You fell asleep those nights staring at the ceiling, totally convinced the world contained hidden doors and elite cabals and ancient signals buried beneath static. Your comics had been right all along. Duh.
That/those feeling (s) is what this calendar is about.
No dessert or ice cream scents this time around. The High-Strangeness Calendar was engineered differently. Like an artifact recovered from a flooded filing cabinet in some abandoned naval research station...or The Smithsonian. (it's always the Smithsonian, no?)
Introducing the High-Strangeness Fine Fragrance Calendar, The Bermuda Triangle Edition: Six fine fragrances. Six matching shave soaps and aftershave/colognes. Six sealed atmospheric incidents distilled, reduced and disguised as grooming products! (In fact, I shouldn't even be mentioning this part)
Beginning June 15th, you open door #1. Not before. The sequence matters. The old researchers used to say phenomena became unstable when observed out of order. But nobody listened, obviously. That’s why half those men ended up with a "drool", babbling about electronic fog and missing time while under heavy sedation in military hospitals. But shave cadets are better than that. We have um...uh, patience? (Seriously folks, I'm trusting you to do this right...otherwise the spell is broken!) #NoPeeking
Where was I? Order of operations. right.
So you open one door each day, for the next 6 days! Easy peasy lemon squeezy. #YouGotThis
Inside is a fine fragrance linked to an era, an event, a vanished signal. Cold machinery humming in radar rooms. Salt air pushing through cargo ship corridors at three in the morning. Tropical mildew crawling along the walls of forgotten marinas. Hot circuitry. Wet teakwood. Ancient, yellowing paper maps folded beside shortwave radios glowing green in bamboo huts while summer rain hammers the sand. [You know, your standard issue PAA product.]
The scents move through time strangely. Some feel familiar immediately, like memories you misplaced in childhood. Homages? Others arrive later, hours afterward, while driving home at night or standing alone in your bathroom mirror wondering why the room suddenly feels twenty years older than it did ten minutes ago. The future?
That’s intentional. No, really.
The calendar itself resembles evidence. Something assembled in secret by men who stopped sleeping correctly sometime around 1976. The kind of thing found in a storage locker purchased at auction after a mysterious disappearance. Strange diagrams. Oracle coins. Alerts no one takes seriously until it’s too late.
And again, there are warnings. Do not skip ahead. Do not open multiple doors. Do not shake the box no matter what you think you hear moving inside it. Especially after midnight in June.
The countdown culminates on June 20th. By then the entire atmosphere changes. You begin noticing things. Old episodes of "In Search Of" appearing in your recommended feed. Dead radio frequencies suddenly active again. An irrational desire to buy snorkeling equipment and a Speedo despite living nowhere near the ocean.
Perfectly normal side effects.
The High-Strangeness Fragrance Calendar exists for people who remember when mystery still had innocence. Before everything became crazy pants. Before every unexplained event was flattened into a soulless algorithm and fed back to you with advertisements attached.
This is for the people who still slow down when they see fog rolling over dark water. For the people who secretly want the world to remain unexplained. For those of us who appreciate the history and the mystery of it all...sigh.
That said, This is an extremely limited release. If yours vanishes in transit, I was never here and this conversation never occurred!
Don't Snooze On This, They're Gonna Go Fast!
Specs:
Approx. Dimensions: 16" x 8"
Contains 12 Pieces; 6, 1 fl oz Aftershave/Colognes & 6 Matching Shave Soaps, Approximately .50 oz.
Sorry - *NO INTERNATIONAL SHIPPING
No Additional Discounts (disconut included in price)